So, it's not, here, a matter of the programmer not being a user and, yet, thinking s/he knows better than the user.
As you've said, you are one of many users, and it's impossible to know what is the best for all of them. If I were using your app, I'd prefer notification in taskbar (yes, I'm the client from hell )
I can accept raise from background if I explicitly click on the icon in explorer (or start via cmd), but only then. If an application steals the focus without my clear permission, then well ... /dev/null awaits
Sorry for little off topic btw.